UN-BEEE-FREAKING-LEAVABLE!

Late last night Keaton expressed a wish to hike Angels Landing in Zion National Park.  A few people said they would be in if Keaton organized.  By morning, we were all committed to doing this stupid, scary, dangerous, crazy hike...even me.

Just google Angels Landing, look at the pictures, watch a YouTube video...it is ridiculous.  There are signs posted as you hike up about how many people have fallen to their deaths on the hike.  It is not reassuring.

So playing with death was our plan for the morning.  We loaded up and drove into Zions.  Right off the bat I tried to take a selfie and slipped off the path...bad omen?

Bad omen or not, we soldiered on.  The hike wasn't too hard for the first 2/3rds.  We all needed little breaks every once in a while but overall it wasn't any harder than the hikes we do as a family around home. 

The views were stunning!  Jennifer had to stop at one point and insisted we go on without her. 

These switchbacks were real lung burners.  They went up and up and up forever.  It was tiring.

The switchbacks marked the end of the first 2/3rds of the hike I thought was no big deal.  In fact, as we finished up the switchbacks I thought, "Our kids could totally do this hike!  We should do this as a family the next time we are in Southern Utah, totally!"  Then we peeked at the real dangerous third of the hike.  Woof.  Liz and Caleb had gone on ahead of us in the middle group (me, Chris, Camie and Robert) and Keaton had gone back to find Jennifer and bring her along.  So Chris, Camie, Robert and I headed up the chains.  This is the stuff you see in the YouTube videos and pictures on google.  This is the real deal...and it is horrifying.

Look at this picture, you see me and Camie on the right and all the way over on the left below the big black shadow is a little curve of road...that's how far up we are.  Barf.

Death grip on my sister's hand, check.

Every so often, Chris would call back to me telling me to look up for a picture.  I would have to hold on to the chain with two hands, shut my eyes, and turn my head to look.  It was vertigo-inducing but if I looked at how far up I was I would swoon.  It was so dumb. 

We stopped for a break and I just curled into the fetal position.  It felt better to be close to whatever ground I could...

My face says it all: This is dumb.  Why am I here?  Where is Keaton?  I want to kill him.  Get me off this mountain. 

Everyone else was calm, cool and in control...I'd even say they were enjoying themselves. 

Nope-ety, nope, nope.  Not me.  I was beside myself regret.  I knew, every step or climb up would be one I had to make to get down.  I can go up OK but going down is so scary...so scary!

Once we got up to the top we camped out under a tree and enjoyed with gratitude the snacks Christopher had hauled up in his backpack.  M&Ms never tasted so good!  While we took in the view we found Caleb and Liz who had been at the top for about 15 minutes already.  Moments after making it to the top, Camie spyed Keaton and Jennifer on the trail below.  They were making their way up!  (Good news, since I wanted to push Keaton off the mountain as soon as he showed up.) 

Some of the others in our group made their way across the top of the mountain to the official ending point of the hike.  Apparently, there was one hiker from another group who felt the need to remove all of his clothing and take in the grandeur buck naked.  Each to their own, I guess.  This same hiker made his way up the trail with a speaker blasting Christian Rock music.  We were all happy when he and his group outpaced us going up and equally happy when they headed down the trail well before we wanted to.  Hiking with nature's own quiet soundtrack is my jam.

And now the tale of going down.  It was not pretty.  Look at this garbage.  Look where the road is and that chain you're supposed to use to steady you along the thousand-foot drop.  No thank you, I'm sticking to the wall.  That's the tippy top of a pine tree on the other side of the chain.  No, no, no!

Christopher gave me gloves, which helped immensely since my hands were cold and I couldn't grip anything properly...and somehow my hands were also so sweaty?  Human biology is messed up.

I was trying to go down backward as much as possible so I wouldn't have to see how far up we were.  Then I got to a point I had to turn around, sure enough, I got a peek of the height and promptly lost my mind.  I started crying and hyperventilating because I couldn't see and I couldn't move.  It was not cool.  My family were supportive and loving and waited for me to collect my mind so we could proceed.  Robert took the lead and narrated the path ahead of me in his very best "motivational speaker" voice.  It was great, he'd say things like: "You don't have to rush on this next part, it is definitely one where you want to be close to the ground." and "Here come some more stairs."  or "Here is our old friend Mr. Chain!"  It really was great. 

After my epic meltdown, Chris stayed behind me and Caleb went ahead, each taking turns to hold my hand on the scariest parts.  It was wonderful and awful at the same time.  I enjoyed feeling love and support from my family but it was too scary.  I just don't handle heights very well. 

We made it back down, safe and sound.  I took a picture looking back up, you can see the chain going up...this was the easiest part.

Mission accomplished.  On the walk down, I got seperated from the group.  There were some people ahead of me and some behind.  I just took my own time going down, down, down.  My knees hurt when I hike down mountians.  Getting old stinks.  Every time I'd come to a little rise in the trail it would feel so nice to go up a tiny bit and give my knees a break. 

When we got back to the cars I took a picture of the top of Angels Landing.  It is that big center rock in the picture below.  Scary.

I thought about this soon after we were safe in the cars.  I hope I take the hike again someday.  I hope I am brave (or stupid) enough to try again.  I hope I can keep a more level head and look around a tiny bit more.  It was cool, hard, and scary.  I'm proud of myself for making the climb.  I'll have to work on conquering my fear of heights and try again.  Maybe with the family, maybe the younger kids and I will stop after the switchbacks and Will and the big kids can take on the crazy part.  I don't know.  I am proud of myself now.  And I guess I wont kill Keaton for suggesting the hike and convincing me I could do it.  I guess he was right.  Boo.