Blue Christmas...

I broke my bat on Johnny's head

Somebody snitched on me

I hid a frog in sister's bed

Somebody snitched on me

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug

I made Tommy eat a bug

Bought some gum with a penny slug

Somebody snitched on me

OH I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I put a tack on teacher's chair

Somebody snitched on me

I tied a knot in Susie's hair

Somebody snitched on me

Next year, I'll be going straight 

Next year, I'll be good, just wait

I'd start now but it's too late

Somebody snitched on me

OH I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

So you better be good, whatever you do

'Cause if you're bad I'm warnin' you

You'll get nuttin' for Christmas

Sometime in my earliest youth, between 4 and 6 years old, I sang that song with my family as part of a talent show at church.  (I do not have a picture of me at this age...so enjoy a drawing I did at some other point in my childhood.)  Maybe it wasn't a talent show for sure but some kind of holiday entertainment?  Each of us kids had a line to sing and mine was "I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug" and we all sang the chorus.  I sang the song to myself all the time after that...well as much of the song as I could remember which was my line, the chorus and the line about buying gum with a penny slug because that sounded like a brilliant idea to me.  As a little kid there wasn't a thing on God's green Earth I loved more than bubble gum.  It is, in fact, the only thing I have ever shoplifted in my life.  I tucked a piece of Bazooka Joe bubble gum into the front of my shirt at the check out line at Goodwins market.  The cashier promptly caught me and made me put it back upon threat of calling the police.  Nice.  Scared shoplifting right out of me.  I think I was seven.  So, just a year or two after singing this song...obviously the message stuck.  Anyway!  My family sang this song as part of a church holiday party and I've been signing the song in my head ever since.  That was the point here.

This Christmas I've been feeling nuttin' but bad all season long.  I feel like a sh*t mom for sending my big boy to live with his grandmother.  I feel like a Scrooge for not sending holiday cards because our family is "broken".  I feel ungrateful for all the little Christmas miracles I see around me because I am so focused on the crap going on at home and in the world.  I am telling you, it is some kind of awesome to be around me this Christmas.

Somehow, I rallied a little bit on Christmas Eve.  Clare and Adell spent the day in the kitchen with me preparing our Christmas Eve feast.  They made rolls and desserts for me, helped with the mashed potatoes (the frozen, pre-made kind from Trader Joes), set the table, cleaned up, all with a cheerful attitude.  It made my Christmas Eve.  

We got word that Wyatt spent the day sledding with his cousins.  I am glad he has some variety of company and a full house for Christmas.  My sister-in-law and her family (husband and EIGHT kids) are visiting my Mother-in-law for Christmas.  Wyatt will have lots of game playing company.

We had a beautiful, little Christmas Eve feast.  I tried out a new tradition of a bouche noel/Yule log cake/kings cake (pick a tradition, that's the one I did).  I made a Swiss roll cake and tucked a little plastic baby in one piece (representing baby Jesus).  Whoever got the baby, got twenty bucks.  

Clare found the baby Jesus and did not choke on it.  Winning!

I went to bed still feeling sad.  Sad that our family would be apart tomorrow morning and thinking there wasn't a "good" reason for our family being apart this year.  

Christmas morning was lovely.  As usual, the kids got some fun things and some practical things.  One super fun gift came from Grandma Judy in the form of dollar bills stuck inside a roll of toilet paper (practical and so fun!).

Will pulled of a major surprise for the whole family, a trip to Mexico he had planned for Christmas break but had to postpone until February because of his surgery.  The kids were screaming with excitement.  Except for Wyatt, I don't know how he reacted but he will be going with us to Mexico.  Hopefully, COVID 19 will chill out enough by February and we can actually go.  Also, hopefully, all of the kid's passports will show up.  We put in applications right before the second wave of shut downs happened in California.  Who knows if anyone is even at the passport offices these days?

We got word again that Wyatt had a lovely Christmas morning at Grandma's house too.  Again, he had a full house of company, got some of the things he wanted and some of the things he needed.  

Christmas done.

If you are wondering, I still feel nuttin' but bad.  I can feel some pesky tendrils of depression wafting up to try and snatch me.  I wish I was ending this super positive post on a super positive note but I don't want to be dishonest.  It's a crummy time for me, emotionally, right this second.  Merry Christmas?  

Third time's a charm?

 

There is nothing charming about this third, nothing at all.  Will had his third shoulder surgery today.  Back in August of 2014 (after injuring his shoulder in June) Will had a shoulder surgery on his right shoulder.  (Ask me to say "shoulder surgery" with my braces on right now.  It is a challenging set of words in the best circumstances...it is a full on disaster right now.)  Way back in 2014 the surgeon placed several anchors in Will's shoulder and repaired a torn rotator cuff.  

Both of Will's shoulders have been giving him grief for a year now.  In October of 2019 when he was wrestling worlds his left shoulder got pulled on really badly.  They had to stop the match for a second because they thought Will was seriously injured.  He likely did do some damage but he wanted to keep wrestling so he soldiered on.  Then he ripped the right shoulder out of its socket just this past July while wakeboarding at the lake.  When we got home his doctor decided it was more pressing to repair the left shoulder that had been injured at worlds.  That repair ended up being easy, more of a clean up than a repair and Will was back to his regular workouts soon.  Well...in November he was wresting with some high school kids and he pulled his right shoulder out of its socket...again.  Worse than the original injury he had to wait in the ER for almost four hours before they had bed space to give him pain killers and get the shoulder back into place.  Apparently, it popped out a couple of times and they had to replace it again.  Gross.  Poor guy.  

Mercifully, Will got scheduled for surgery today to finally re-repair all of the damage on his right shoulder.  So, that is the third shoulder surgery for this guy!  When the surgeon went in this time, there was extensive damage, including a bicep tendon tear, a capsule tear, and damage all over the place.  Will will have a much longer recovery this time.  He is in a world of hurt.  

Thankfully, we have good friends who have brought meals, given Will blessings, and generally looked out for us.  We are thankful for rest and pain medication now!

A snowy visit with Wyatt...

Will and I flew into Salt Lake City and in a mid sized rental car made our way up to Preston, Idaho to visit Wyatt.  Did I mention we made the drive in the middle of a snow storm?  Good thing Will remembers how to drive in snow...I would have driven us off the road early and often.  We made it up to Preston with an hour before Wyatt was home from school.  

 

Will and I indulged ourselves and spent some time shoveling the driveway.  I'm pretty sure it is has been nearly twenty years since I shoveled a significant amount of snow.  My muscles were sore the next day.  We both enjoyed the "workout" but don't have a desire to make it a regular part of our lives.

Wyatt came around the corner to see us shoveling just as a car fishtailed past us.  Wyatt looked happy to see us...or he was smiling at our near brush with death?  Hard to say.  He did give both of us a big hug.

The next day Wyatt gave us a tour of his high school.  This is the actual high school and town where the movie Napoleon Dynamite was filmed.  Wyatt showed us some of his classrooms and told us how classes are going.  He really is doing so much better with in person school.  He is one of the struggling many who does not fair well with the lack of socialization in the remote model.  We are so thankful there are some places where in person learning is happening and we are able to send Wyatt there.  We are lucky, I know.  

It was so good to see Wyatt smile and hear him describe his comings and goings right now.  He hasn't made any friends he can hang out with after school yet but he is optimistic.  People are so friendly and helpful.  He is enjoying playing games every night with my mother-in-law and her husband.  Wyatt is going to stay in Preston for the rest of the school year.  Hopefully, he will make some good friends and continue to enjoy school.  We dropped him off at his cousin's house in Utah for a few days of cousin time. He is certainly having a lot of different opportunities in Idaho than he does in California.

All of our fun smashed into one day...

Normally we like to spread our holiday cheer/stress out over a few weeks.  This year, California announced they were going back into shelter in place mode starting Sunday the 6th at midnight.  So...we crammed three weeks worth of Christmasing into one day before the shut down.  

As parents scrambled to figure this all out, I got over 40 texts in one night from various frazzled and annoyed moms.  Will got zero texts or emails from dads by the way.  We scheduled practices and events for our kids and families before the shut down.  

Saturday we had a service project (check) watched Adell preform in her Merry Little Christmas Show (check) and went to the ward party where Colter, Adell, and Clare preformed (check).  Now we can sit back and relax for the next three weeks, right?

Clare's young women dance number 

Colter's activity days boys dance number

Adell's activity day girls dance number

The merriest little dancer in sparkles