I am typing this in April and cannot remember the dream. The night before this post is dated (March 20th) I had a weird dream. Most of the time my dreams are just the ramblings of my unconscious mind sorting out events and thoughts from the day. They have zero meaning. They are only there for rest and rejuvenation. Every so often, I'll wake from a dream and feel like it was important. Either my mind is wrestling with something, I am worried about something, or I am getting some guidance from God. I usually know when a dream was important when I wake up. I feel different. Instead of feeling like: that was weird. I feel like: that was important. I don't know how to describe it. I just want to say it doesn't happen very often and MOST of my dreams aren't important at all.
Anyway, I wish I could remember this dream. I woke up feeling like it was important; moreover, I felt like I needed to spend more deliberate time with my kids. I'm with them all day...all the time...but lots of the time I am distracted. I do chores, listen to books, and check my phone. Man, I wish I could remember the dream now. I woke up feeling like I need to pay attention to my kids more when I'm with them. Nothing crazy. I still need to do other stuff but I need to be more deliberate about putting other stuff down and focusing on them for a few minutes. So that is what I tried to do today. Here are some of the things I observed:
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| This picture is actually from Tuesday, the day before. Colter after swim lessons at splash. |
Clare had her big birthday breakfast with friends this morning. We had 14 girls over before the 9:00am start at middle school. They chatted and laughed and ate waffles. Clare has been in this school district since she started school. Many of these girls have been her classmates since she was in Kindergarten. I loved seeing how they have grown up. I loved listening to their conversations while I cooked in the kitchen. I loved hearing their laughter and kindness to each other. Clare has had really good friends while we've lived here. There have been ups and downs but mostly ups. I am so thankful for Clare and her friends.
I sat with Colter while he ate his lunch after Kindergarten pick up. We talked about his day and the things he likes. I watched him get his own glass of water. I remembered getting millions of glasses of water for my kids over the years. I remembered being small and having the kitchen counters reach my armpits when I reached for my own glass of water as a child.
When I picked Adell up I took her to McDonald's to grab an ice cream cone through the drive-through. We talked about her day and her friends. She has some friend drama, it weighs on her heavily. She doesn't have an easy time feeling like she is always liked and included. It is hard sometimes. We talk a lot about being in charge of our own emotions and letting others be in charge of their emotions. We talk about standing up for ourselves, even when we think we might get in trouble. We talk about her teachers and how they all love her! We talk and talk and talk.
Right after picking up Adell I got a message from Lorien saying she needed a ride home. Little did I know, she needed a ride for herself, a friend, Wyatt and a gigantic canvas! Little did she know, I didn't have the minivan--just Will's car. Will had taken the van for a work road trip. That gigantic canvas was not going to fit in the car. We tried the trunk with the seats folded down, we tried to slide it in through the side doors...no dice.
Finally, I came up with the clever idea of putting the canvas on the roof and all of us holding on to it through the open windows. Wyatt closed his hand in the door on the first try. Poor kid. We situated the canvas, opened the windows, held on and left the high school. Thankfully, I could take the back roads all the way home sticking to 25 mph roads only. It was scary and funny and mildly embarrassing. We all felt like everyone was staring at us (they were not). We all felt like we kept passing everyone we knew (we did not). I stressed about the police catching us (they did not). I'm not sure what law we were breaking but I thought for sure we were (we were not--I think now). I was also supremely confident we would be the subject of a shameful nextdoor post (we were not).
After much laughter and only a couple of scary canvas-near-blow-offs we made it home. My left hand had gone white and numb. It was awesome. Yankee ingenuity right there.
Lorien and her friend did a touch-up dye job on the hair of another friend. This boy and five of his friends came over one day last week and Lorien bleached his hair. Apparently, the bleaching process is wildly painful. Poor kid. He had to leave the house and walk around the block to try and distract himself from the pain. Now he knows, beauty is pain.
Lorien cannot stand the little kids to be around her and her friends when they are over. She cannot stand the little kids at any time but she can hide out in her room. When her friends are here they want to be in the common areas of the house...with no little children. I don't think her friends mind the siblings so much but Lorien cannot stand them. I managed to pull the little kids upstairs for a good long time to make collages and decorate a baking powder can for a piggy bank. It was a great craft. Colter and Adell ended up staying up in my room for another hour or so cutting and pasting. Colter was all about finding pictures of multi-million dollar homes to decorate his pages. He has a very skewed sense of real estate prices thanks to living in the Bay Area.
When I came downstairs I could hear laughter from the teenagers and Bob Ross from the TV. All four kids (Lorien, Wyatt and Lorien's two friends) had hauled out unused canvases and decided to paint along with Bob Ross. Their pictures were so cool! I loved seeing what they were creating. I was so impressed with how well they were all following Bob Ross and how well their paintings were turning out. One of Lorien's friends had to leave before they were finished. I have the three finished paintings hanging in the family room. I love them!
Being a parent is weird and hard and rewarding. I remember how much I struggled when the big kids were little. I remember how overwhelming every little thing was. It is so nice to be a little older, a little more experienced, a little calmer now. It is so nice to see how these kids have grown up so far. To see how my mistakes have helped and hurt them. To see they are growing into fantastic human beings. It is nice to see the younger kids come along and see how my mistakes are shaping them. Parenthood is a wild journey. I'm glad to be on it...
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