Happy New Year!

Alan and Heather came back out to our side of the bay for New Year's Eve.  One of these days we will go to their house for fun...one of these days.

We laid out a pile of snack food and got to playing games.  

The kids put on the opening scene to the Nutcracker (can you guess what Hazel has been immersed in since September?).

We had an early count down for the kids (yay Netflix) and shot of confetti cannons.  The adults and big kids got to stay up late watching Arrested Development and playing more games.  It was our ideal New Year's Eve.

Gingerbread houses...

We have to save some of our holiday traditions for after Christmas.  Life is so hectic as school ends and Christmas happens.  There just isn't enough time or enough mom sanity to go around.  It all works out though, we have all of winter break to get our traditions in.

Tonight we got gingerbread houses made.  I made houses from scratch Sunday night.  Scratch years are usually the most stressful but I tried to focus on why I liked doing this every year.  It ended up being much less stressful and more fun.

All of the kids made fun and creative houses.  They shared ideas and tips for cutting and shaping the candy for their houses.  Plenty of candy was used and plenty of candy was consumed. 

Oh Lorien...

If you follow Lorien on Instagram you might have read her post Christmas night.  If you don't the summary is, Lorien came out as Bisexual on her Instagram page. 

Exciting.

This isn't the start of the story.  We've been writing this story for a few years now.  I cannot remember when exactly it started, maybe in the 6th grade when she started attending GSA (Gay Straight Alliance)?  I don't know for sure.  I know it has been years of conversations with her.  Conversations about thinking kissing boys is gross because you're a little kid, and maybe you like girls more than boys but probably you're just a little kid who isn't supposed to like kissing anyone.  Conversations about having an online presence and the things you say to the internet you might as well be saying to the world with a megaphone.  Conversations about the over-sexualization of women and what that means for girls becoming women in the world.  Conversations about cutting.  Conversations about girls asking you out in front of all of your friends because you told the internet you were pansexual.  

Conversations

Conversations

Conversations

So on Christmas day last year (2017) when we had found texts between Lorien and another friend talking about varied sexuality, we assumed we were going to have another conversation.  We assumed the conversation would end the same way all of the other conversations ended...something like: "That makes sense, I'm totally into boys."  So we took Lorien to McDonald's (the only place open on Christmas night) and got some fries and Diet Coke.  Her telling is from her perspective and you can ask her about it.  I think it boils down to we didn't do it right.  

I know we didn't do it right.  I know because I don't think there is a right way.  Everyway is probably the wrong way.  I know we did our best.  Poor Lorien remains our oldest child.  She gets our parenting at its least refined.  We learn all of our lessons and test out all of our theories on her first.  We make a lot of mistakes.  

A LOT.

We made mistakes on this Christmas night 2017 and we will keep on making mistakes of all kinds.  But we love our Lorien.  We do, we do, we do.  

Lorien's post had me down for the better part of three days.  Just like her coming out had me down for the better part of three weeks last year.  Today while I was rinsing and stacking the dishes, I subconsciously stacked the small bowls in rainbow order.  As I picked up the stack to load into the dishwasher I paused thinking: there is something really beautiful at this stack of bowls.  As I loaded them into the washer I saw the beauty in the rainbow order.  It was pretty.  I can't quite articulate why but it made me feel better.  

Abundance...

Hours after delivering kits to the homeless the big kids helped Will and I set up our Christmas.  I don't know if they pondered how much we had...but I did.  We are lucky and thankful.  We will try to do more to help those who have less.  

Adell decided to test Santa this year.  She wouldn't say exactly what she wanted for Christmas in a letter or out loud.  Somehow, Colter figured out what she wanted, a pet bird.  Colter managed to talk me and Will into letting him get Adell a bird for their sibling gift exchange. 

The surprise was blown a little bit Sunday night when Adell saw pictures of the bird on my cell phone.  She was still happy Christmas morning. 

We have a lot.  We try to show gratitude for what we have.  We try to help those near and dear to us.  We try to help those far and dear.  We try to help those who have much less.  We try and we are thankful.

Merry Christmas

Christmas Adam Eve...

Sunday night we got together with our local family for some Christmas festivities.  We usually get together on Christmas Eve to play games and act out the nativity.  This year the Sunday before Christmas Eve was better for all of our schedules.  Aunt Betty Jo and Uncle John came up from San Jose and Alan and Heather came across the Bay for the night.  

Aunt Betty Jo and Uncle John always give the kids a generous present.  It is the highlight of the night, getting to open a present early.

Heather came up with an excellent activity for all of us to participate in.  For months Heather has been driving Hazel down to San Jose for Hazel's ballet practice.  The homeless population in the Bay Area is growing and there doesn't seem to be a good solution.  Heather decided our families could be the answer to her children's prayers of "please bless the homeless people".  So Heather collected all of the supplies to make hygiene kits and snack bags.  We spent the activity portion of our evening together assembling kits and bags to hand out to the homeless. 

Then we made candy trains to include as a treat.

"Helping the homeless" was a fairly abstract concept for some of the kids but everyone was committed to putting together the kits and helping.

We acted out the nativity and called it a night.

Monday morning Will took all the kids down to San Jose to meet up with Alan and Heather and their kids.  They spent the afternoon handing out kits in the rain.  I stayed home and got some organizing done.  I kept watching the rain pour down at our house and thought of my kids out in the rain.  I knew they would finish and be able to come home to their warm, dry house.  The people they gave the kits to, however, would still be in the rain.  I hoped my kids would realize this and have an extra measure of Christmas spirit in thinking of it.

Will told me a bit about the process when they got home.  He said it was the best Christmas time activity he had ever participated in.  The kids "knocked" on tent doors and cardboard boxes calling out "Merry Christmas, I have a little something for you."  Most people came out and chatted with the kids for a little bit.  Colter crawled into one guy's tent (James) and asked him about his tattoos and how he used to be a Marine.  Lorien found an encampment of homeless teenagers and chatted with a few girls who were very close to her age.  I'm sure it was sobering.  All of the kids were full of smiles and a good feeling when they came home.  I think Will is right, that was the best Christmas time activity ever.  Thanks Heather.

Last minute Christmas shopping...

Christmas is almost here and I think we have everything covered in the gifts department.  I wanted to check out one thing at IKEA so Lorien, Wyatt, Adell and I made our way to Emeryville on a Saturday to endure IKEA.  I let Lorien drive.  No one died but we all took turns gripping the handles in the car as tightly as we could.  She needs some more practice.

Lorien dyed her hair bright red for Christmas...very festive.  All of the grout in my bathroom is pink.  Grrrrrr...

It was fun to cruise around IKEA for a bit with three kids.  We admired furniture and made dream bedroom plans.  After IKEA (where all three kids unanimously agreed, Daddy would want the cheapest option, not the biggest one) we went to lunch together.  Fed and happy we decided to walk around the outdoor mall.  I'm a sucker so I picked up a few more present items for the kids and Adell bought her sibling gift for Clare. 

It really was a nice afternoon.  Lorien got some driving practice and we all got some time together.  Lorien, Wyatt, and Adell is not a grouping of kids that happens naturally.  Usually, we group by age.  This was a fun change. 

Merry Little...

Adell danced in the Merry Little Christmas Show again this year.  This is such a fun little show!  We are so thankful for the friend who puts so much energy and creativity into creating this experience for our kids.  All of the girls have been a part of the show for years now.  I didn't really know about it when we first moved here and so Lorien missed out on a few years.  Then the one year she was in the show...we didn't go see her.  She has been sad about it ever since.  Sigh.  Parenting fail.

Adell's show was fun, as usual.  After her last preformance, we took her out for a date to get some fun pastries for a treat.