America's very own Miss

The pageantry.

The spectacle.

The competition.

The laughter and tears.

We had it all last night for the 5th annual Miss America Party.  (5 years?  Have I been doing this for 5 years?  I guess so...I might need to get a life.)

I've been debating whether or not to have this party for a couple of years.  Last year I was pregnant and did not feel super pageantee.

And then my pageant party became the platform for some non-friendly smack talk.  It was ugly and very unMiss American.  So, this year I really didn't feel up to throwing the party.

I thought a night in by myself eating double stuffed Oreos would be more fun.

But some friends kept telling me how hard they were working on their talents for the competition...I couldn't let them down.

The pageant must go on.

In the week leading up to the party I kept having the same doubts.  What was I going to do for my talent?  What was I going to wear?  Would people come and party or be party-poopers?  Why was I doing all this work (trying uselessly to keep my house clean) again?  I was a mental disaster.  (I was probably a physical disaster too but no one bothered to tell me to my face...)



The night of the party came and to no one's surprise the evening was so much fun.  Everyone came to participate (which is all I ask, just goodhearted participation).


Miss Georgia put on a dance routine.  A full bodied, fully facially expressed, 70's disco dance without a single second of hesitation.  She was brilliant and we all knew the bar had been set impossibly high.



Miss Small Town played the William Tell Overture...on her teeth.  Brilliant!  (Here is a little vain side note, Miss Small Town and I have similar hair cuts.  I copied her.  Sometimes people get the two of us confused and I am flattered every time.)



This is Miss Placed Confidence (best. character. ever.) she came already wearing the crown.  She read a poem about princesses in fairy tales and how the princesses should be round.  Miss Placed Confidence was dramatic in all the right ways.



Miss Maryland came in a wedding gown...how could we compete with that?  She did some yoga warm up moves followed by spectacular head stand tricks.  Totally Awesome.



Miss Allergy (she kept a box of tissues nearby) put on a thumb pointin', hip shakin', leg kickin' dance routine.  We all bowed to her grace...


Miss Mainely did that Minute-to-win-it trick where she put an Oreo cookie on her forehead and moved the cookie to her mouth...using her facial muscles.  Miss Mainely got the Oreo down her face to her cheek twice and dropped the cookie.  On the third try I looked down the row of women, they were all leaning hard to the right in subconscious support of Miss Mainely.  I tried to snap a picture but Miss Mainely got the cookie in her mouth right as I took the picture--sending the supporting-spectators into riotous cheers.

While everyone else was preforming their talents Miss Mainely kept laughing and saying: "I don't think I read the evite very well!  I thought we were just going to dress up and watch the Miss America Pageant!"

We were all laughing too hard.



Miss Sparkles and I put on a hula dance.  We were very, very good...I'd say first-grade good.  (I am Miss-Modest-is-the-Hottest Utah, by the way...)


Miss Les Miz was so amazing it was scary.  She was a lovely lady indeed!  No one could figure out her talent and she kept a great secret.  She started doing some fantastic warm-up moves and then produced a can of Reddi-whip out of nowhere.  She sprayed a pile of whip topping on the back of her down turned hand.  Then she knocked the Reddi-whip off of her down turned hand, sending it flying into the air and down into her mouth.  I don't know if I described the scene adequately...I don't know if anyone could.  The crowd thundered for an encore.  Epic.



Miss Georgia won the crown with Miss Les Miz taking second and Miss Sparkles taking third. (Darn it, I forgot to take a picture of the three of them!)  Miss America's winner last year came in her high-heels and pajamas to crown this years winner.

Bravo ladies!  What a night it was.  Thanks for making everything so much fun and rekindling my love for the Miss America Party.  I will do it again...next year.