Saturday, September 6, 2008
Who wants their cornea shaved?
I am talking about LASIK eye surgery friends. Last week I got a post card in the mail advertising surgery prices so low they led one to believe the surgeon was a homeless man living in the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant, preforming delicate eye surgery with a carrot peeler and pen light. Since I have seen this homeless guy at close range I felt comfortable calling to schedule a free evaluation. On Thursday afternoon (after having my pupils forcibly dilated) I learned I am a perfect candidate for LASIK eye surgery!!! Not your plain-jane-every-day LASIK, mind you, but the very latest in cutting edge technology!!! (pause for applause and cheers) Naturally, there is a catch--the surgeon is actually a Stanford trained Doctor--and those rock bottom prices--they are for people with a vision impairment so minimal they'd never notice they had one. Too bad for me. I guess it will be a while yet before the top most layer of my retinal cornea is peeled back so a laser can zap away my imperfections leaving me with perfect 20/20 vision. Sigh...
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3 comments:
20/20's for chumps. Harlan wants better.
Last spring, a girl I know who works at a plastic surgery clinic came up to me and said, "Not that you need it or anything, but I'm going to be giving free sample shots of Botox this week, so if you want to come in, I can get one for you." Wow. Not sure why she thought I'd be interested in injecting toxins into my bloodstream. Lasik surgery at least has some medical credibility.
HA! Love you and your wicked sense of humor, Cas. I'll be chuckling about the chinese restaurant dumpster resident eye surgeon all day. i'm in the exact same position with lasik--i'd like to throw my glasses/contacts out the window, but then i couldn't see, and i can't afford any kind of doctor i'd want touching my eyeballs.
hope you guys are well! xo
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